


It Wasn't Real

by Mrsdeadpool0



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Ben being oblivious, Ben is a chubby soft bean, Bill has a twin sister, Bullying, F/F, F/M, Fat Shaming, Foul Language, M/M, Pennywise is a dick, Richie is Richie, Weight Insecurities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25854766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrsdeadpool0/pseuds/Mrsdeadpool0
Summary: From the moment Ben Hanscom first met Bill Denbrough's sister, he fell in love with her.Ben is pining helplessly over her, and his self-esteem has hit an all time low due to all of the bullying he's had to put up with, so he's resigned to the fact he's designed to be fat and alone forever. A boy like him has no shot with a pretty girl Like Raven Denbrough.And then the killer clown enters the picture.   The child-eating monster singles each Loser out, and torments them with their worst fears.Ben's worst fear comes when he and Pennywise-as-Raven are alone at school, and "Raven" taunts him about how she could  never like a fat fuck like him. Ben escapes the clown's clutches, and he tries to convince himself it wasn't real- Raven would never say that to him.. would she? He goes to the Loser's Clubhouse, hoping to be alone and cry, but his crush is there, too. Raven had also narrowly escaped Pennywise, and she demands that Ben tell her why he's crying. One thing about Raven Denbrough is.. she's a force of nature, and always gets what she wants. She just doesn't expect what the adorable chubby boy tells her.
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, OC!Female/ Ben Hanscom
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	It Wasn't Real

The Losers are at the Quarry, and everyone is in their undergarments but him. Ben knows how he looks without a shirt. At least with a shirt, he can hide the full expanse of his belly. He fingers the bottom of his shirt, and wipes a bead of sweat from his forehead.

"Aren't you hot?"

He blinks. "What?"

"I said, "aren't you hot"?" Raven repeats.

"Uh.. no, I'm fine."

"You're sweating like a pig, Haystack." Richie says, pointing to his damp, sweaty shirt.

Ben's plump cheeks turn pink when he hears the other Losers laugh at Richie's comment.

"It's summer, the sun's beaming down, and it's hot like a motherfucker. Take off your damn shirt, Benny." Raven says. Benny. She's the only one who calls him Benny. It's her pet name for him, and he thinks it's adorable.

"I-I'm good."

"Whatever, weirdo."

"Pigs sweat more, Birdy." Richie says.

"Beep, beep, Richie." Bev says.

"Pigs don't even sweat, dumbass." Raven says. It's a subtle dig at Richie's intelligence, and Ben can't help but wonder if it's Raven's way of defending him.

"Look at the kid! He's sweating Hamburger Helper."

"Pay attention to your own scrawny ass, Tozier."

"You love my scrawny ass, Denbrough."

"I like a little something to hold onto at night, actually." Raven says, shrugging. She winks at Ben, and he wraps his arms around his flabby waist, averting eye contact with her.

"I'm too hot to be wearing all my clothes. I'm goin' in!" Richie takes off his shirt and shorts, and jumps off the ledge, joining Bill in the water.

"My eyes!" Raven says dramatically.

"Seriously, I think I just saw my worst nightmare." Bev says, giggling.

"I think I just saw God." Eddie says at the same time.

"And I think I'm gonna be sick." Stanley says. He takes off his shirt and shorts, and drags the smaller boy along with him. He pushes Eddie off the ledge, and jumps off after him, Beverly and Mike right behind.

"Christ!" the boy yells as he hits the water, hard.

"It really is hot as hell." Raven muses.

"Y-yeah, I guess." Ben says.

"I know you're hot, Benny. C'mon, we can jump off together!" She unbuttons her flowery blouse, and practically taunts him with her well-proportioned, slender yet voluptuous figure. He may be fat and relatively unattractive, but he's still a horny teenage boy. Heat rises to his face, and he covers his hopefully not obvious boner.

"I'm good just staying here. I've got a book I really wanna read."

"Oh! Can I read it with you?"

"I just wanna be alone, okay?" He instantly wishes he could take it back when her kind face hardens.

"Fine, whatever, Hanscom." She joins the other Losers in the water, leaving him alone.

He screwed that up, big time. Probably for the best. A fat boy like him has no shot with her, and he knows that. He takes out a candy bar, and begins to read his book. _If you keep stuffing your face, she's never going to want to look at you, you pig. Fat boy, can't get a girl to stay for even a second. Fat, ugly, blubbery whale._

He takes a big bite out of the candy bar, and sighs. He's going to die fat, and alone. At least he has food. Food will never call you fat. It just makes you fat. 

***********************

\----Time skip to Pennywise-------

"Your friends seem nice." Raven comments, showing up out of nowhere in the now empty classroom.

"They aren't my friends." Ben says, sighing. He's relieved to see a friendly face. 

The two sit down in desks beside each other, and she pulls out a cigarette, and lights the tip of it up. She presses the cigarette to her lips, and blows a cloud of smoke into his face, making him cough. 

"Want a taste?" 

"No, I don't smoke."

"Figures." she says, smirking. 

"Hey.. do you think things are still gonna be the same after.... facing Pennywise?" He shudders at even the thought of the evil clown. 

"As long as we still get to hang out, who cares?" 

"You.. you really mean that?" 

"Well, of course, I do, dummy." 

She takes his pudgy hand in her own smaller one. He meets her eyes, smiling nervously. 

She inches closer to him, her blue eyes wide and curious. Her lips are so close to his.. He takes his chance, and leans in. 

She backs up, laughing. "Oh, my God!"

"Oh." he says, feeling stupid. 

"What, you actually thought I would like someone as _fat, and gross, and disgusting_ as you?"

He bites his bottom lip, trying to stop himself from letting out a sob. He knew it. _He knew it._ How could he be so stupid? He looks away from her. 

" ** _Your hair is winter fire!_** " Her voice is deep and demonic all of a sudden. He looks up, and jumps out of his chair, the chair relieved of the extreme weight it had been attempting to hold up. Raven's whole face is skeletal, and her head is on fire. 

He bumbles out of the classroom, Raven running after him. 

" ** _January embers!"_** the demonic shrew calls. 

He jogs down the stairs. He's getting tired and out of breath, but he can't stop running. He reaches the front doors, but they're chained up. _Shit._

" ** _My heart burns there, too!_** "

His eyes rest on his graffiti-covered locker, and sprints over. He sucks in his large belly, just managing to fit into the locker. He slams the door, and holds back tears. His blubber presses against the metal walls of the inside of the locker, his shirt ridden all the way up. _Fat. Gross. Disgusting._

He grapples in the dark for the page he ripped out of his yearbook- the page where only one person signed. Raven. The girl chasing him, spiting out his poems vehemently. No. No, she wouldn't say that. 

He holds the page close to his squishy chest. "Raven would never say anything like that." He repeats the sentence over and over in my head, hoping to believe it himself. 

He peers out of the peep hole, searching for that.. thing. He's relieved when he doesn't see her- it. There's something.. breathing on his-

He turns around as much as he can, to see the dreaded, ugly clown. 

"Hello, fat boy." 

He lets out a girlish scream, and stumbles out of his locker, pulling his shirt down as he runs. He runs smack dab into the janitor. 

"Slow down, kid. Geez, you almost gave me a heart attack!" 

Ben looks behind him. The clown is gone. 

He runs out of the building. The sun is hellishly hot, burning his round, puffy face. He shivers. Somehow, in this stupid summer heat, he's freezing. He can't go home. He decides to go to the one place where he's sure no one else will find him- at least for the moment. 

**************

There aren't many positive things going for Ben, except for the fact that he built this Clubhouse all by himself. This place was his home, more so than his actual home, where he was the taste-tester for all of his mother's cooking. He loves her, he really does. He can't blame her for making him fat. He just has zero self control. He bites the head of a chocolate bunny, not caring how old it is, and starts crying. 

"Hey, Benny." 

He jumps, startled. 

"Relax, it's just me."

He cries harder.

"Benny.. what's wrong?"

He wails, and starts snarfing down the rest of the bunny. He's a binge eater. Food is his therapy, even though the after effects.. are the mass of flab that is his stomach. 

"Whoah, have I done something? Talk to me, Benny."

She sits next to him, and he shrinks away from her, wrapping his thick, jiggly arms around his bulging belly. God, his belly is jiggling with every sob. _Disgusting_.

"Leave-me.. please." 

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." 

He shakes his head vigorously.

"Talk to me, Handsome-" 

"Stop!" 

She stares. "Stop what?"

"Stop- stop playing with my feelings!"  
  
"What are you-" 

"I know what you really think! I know you see me like everybody else does!" he cries, voice hoarse. 

"Benny, I still don't know what you're talking about. Talk to me." she says, placing an arm around his waist, squeezing a roll of fat. 

"The-the-clown." he forces out. 

"I saw It, too." she says.

"You-you did?" 

"Yeah. Showed me my worst fear." she says grimly. 

"What did.. what'd It show you?" he asks tentatively. 

"It was.. a baby."

"A.. baby?" 

She sighs, and says, "I had... sex with an older man. I got pregnant, and I had to get an abortion. IT was.. just a big baby covered in blood, cooing, "Mommy, mommy, why did you kill me?"." 

"I...I'm sorry." His fear feels trivial compared to hers. 

"It was freaky, sure. I know the baby.. wasn't real. So what'd IT show you?" 

"I.. can't. Don't wanna talk.. about it." 

"I told you my fear. I've never told anyone that. The least you could do.. is tell me, eh?" She elbows his ample side playfully. 

"You."

She frowns. "Me? You're afraid of.. me?"

"Not you.. just.. just... what you think.. what you really think of me." 

"Talk to me." 

"So you.. not you, IT.. I tried to kiss IT, and the clown.. was you. It looked exactly like you. She- IT- said.. said that you'd never like someone, as.. as fat, gross, and disgusting.. as... as me." 

She wraps her thin arms around his waist, he sobs into her chest.   
  


"I mean... I knew it.. I knew-"

"Wait, you believed that stupid clown?"

"Why wouldn't I? Look at me!" he shouts, body vibrating with sobs. 

"I don't understand-" 

"YOU THINK I'M FAT, GROSS, AND DISGUSTING! ADMIT IT, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN DISGUSTED BY ME!" 

"Benny, you aren't-" 

He stands up abruptly, and rips off his shirt. "SEE? Get a laugh at the walking whale! The fat, circus freak!" He pinches his many rolls harshly, eyes burning with tears. 

"I see." she says in a small voice. 

He blanches, and hides his too fat face in his too fat hands. 

"Your weight never bothered me, you know." 

He stays silent. 

"I mean it. I'm not like Bowers, or Greta, or any other asshole. I don't see you that way. "

"What other way is there?" he whispers.

"Oh, Benny." She walks over to him, and cups his chubby cheek with one hand, and with the other hand, she puts under his double chin, forcing him to look at her. "You are not gross, or disgusting. Yeah, sure, you're a little heavy-"

He whimpers. 

"What's so bad about being a little chubby?" 

"You.. you can't be serious. I weigh 290 pounds, and none of that is muscle, as you can tell. I stuff my face like a pig, and I'm all jiggly." 

"If eating calms you down, what's the harm? There's nothing wrong with liking to eat, and there's nothing wrong with you." She gently wipes away his tears, and smiles softly at him. "You are so cute." 

"C-c-" 

"Sexy, really." 

"S-stop.." 

"I think you're pretty sexy. Look at this lovely bubble butt." She squeezes his large ass. 

He yelps, alarmed. He can't hide all of him, without his shirt. He sniffs. 

"Don't even think about putting your shirt back on." 

"Don't.. don't make fun of me.." he pleads.

"I'm complimenting you, you idiot." 

"C-compliments?" 

"Yeah, stupid. I love your chubby chipmunk cheeks. I love your soft chest." She squeezes a squishy man boob tenderly. "I love you thick, strong arms." She squeezes his flabby arms. "I love your thick, creamy thighs." She practically rips off his shorts. 

He should be ashamed. He _is ashamed. How could she love any part of your blubbery body, fat boy? Fat, fat, fat-_

"I love your belly. I love how big and soft it is." She runs her hands down his stomach, and then his lovehandles.

"St-stop.."

"I like touching you. You look better without clothes on. Hasn't anyone ever told you how handsome and sexy you are?" 

"No.. n-never." he admits. 

"Well, _I am._ I'm tellin' ya, the girls at school are missing out. You're a god."

"I think.. you're over exaggerating." 

"Not at all, Benny Boy." She pats his stomach, and he cringes, watching it wobble at her touch. 

" _Why?"_

"Why not?"

"I'm.. I can't be.. I'm not your type." 

"I only have one type- _you_." She kisses his cheek. She wraps her arms around him as best she can, not even reaching all the way around. 

"You can't.. you can't like all of _this_." 

"I do. I really do. You're not a pig, you're not a whale, you're not gross, you're not a cow, you're not disgusting, so get those thoughts outta your head." She lightly flicks his forehead, and he giggles. "You're a big teddy bear. You're my teddy bear." 

He smiles broadly, and picks her up. She squeaks in surprise, and he sits down, putting her on his lap, all too aware of how his belly takes up most of the space. She sighs happily, and rubs his belly. He sucks it in as best he can. 

"Stop trying to suck it in." 

"I swear, I'll lose the weight." he says quickly.

"I don't care if you lose or gain any weight." she says, shrugging. "I like you the way you are now." She pokes his deep belly button, and he jumps, startled. She giggles, and starts to play with his fat. 

"What are you doing, Raven?" he asks shyly. 

"You're just so cute and soft. I just wanna hug you and cuddle you!" She licks the chocolate off of his lips, and his heart races. 

"You really think.. I'm sexy?" 

"Fuck yes, I do." She presses her slender body against his obese one, and kisses him. He kisses back shyly. 

"Are we.. a couple?" 

"Only if you want us to be." 

"You don't care that they're gonna call you a chubby chaser??" 

"I don't really care about anything but making your sexy ass happy." She nibbles at the flab on his neck, and he moans. "We're gonna face that fucking clown together, Benny Boy?" 

He grins, and kisses her on the cheek. "Okay, Raven." 

"Wanna go home, or..?" 

"I'm.. kinda hungry." he mumbles. 

"Good. I'm hungry, too. I have a whole extra large pizza here, if you wanna share."

His stomach growls, and he blushes. 

"You're cute. So cute. Let's eat, shall we?" 

"I.. think I love you." 

"Well, I think I love you, too." 

The unlikely couple spends the rest of the day eating and making out in the Clubhouse. 


End file.
